K. J. Petsas Family Law Blog on Lawyers.com

The unraveling of a marriage can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences of a lifetime. That is particularly true for the children, who are at risk of becoming innocent casualties. In fact, the groundbreaking research of Dr. Thomas Holmes and Dr. Richard Rahe shows that divorce can have an even harder impact on children than adults.

If, however, you keep the best interests of your children at the forefront, you can make the difficult process easier for them and provide for their needs.

Some issues to keep in mind during your divorce

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Do not let the process go on longer than necessary. Retain an experienced attorney as soon as possible to represent your interests in the difficult issues of child and spousal support, custody, visitation, and property division. The sooner you settle these issues, the sooner healing and stability can begin for you and your children.
• Children will often believe it is their fault. Reassure them that the problems are between you and your spouse, and are not their fault. Let them know that you and your spouse will always love them. Repeat it often.
• Comfort your children. Your children will worry about uncertainties. Who is going to take care of them? Will they have to move and go to a new school? Talk to them about their fears.
• If it becomes a financial battle, let your attorney fight it. You must protect and provide for the welfare of your children. The outcome will determine the standard of living your family enjoys.
• Leave anger, guilt, blame, fear, or other painful emotions at the office of your attorney. Avoid yelling at your spouse in front of your children. Do not speak badly of your spouse to your children.
• Circumstances can change. If your situation changes after the divorce due to the unexpected (illness, job loss, unforeseen expenses, increase in salary, inheritance), your attorney can file to have your child support agreement enforced or modified.

As difficult as the divorce process may be for parents, the one thing that matters most is that both remember to put the welfare of their children first.

Contact us

The San Mateo divorce lawyers of Petsas & Stephens, LLP offer the experience and attentive counsel you need when dealing with a high asset divorce—and other difficult family law issues— in San Francisco, San Mateo, and throughout the San Francisco Bay area. Our offices are located at 1475 Huntington Avenue, Suite 205, South San Francisco, CA 94080, 650-624-8155.